A Pocketful of Happiness

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An emotional rollercoaster - profoundly moving and wonderfully entertaining. A brilliant memoir about living, loving and losing.” I've always liked Richard E Grant, ever since my family watched his version of The Scarlet Pimpernel yearly like it was some kind of religious ritual and later, as an older teen, I found his autobiographical film Wah Wah about childhood trauma, colonialism and being the outsider quite powerful (especially since my granddad actually lived for a bit in Rhodesia, now Zimbabwe, and described similar experiences) and his exuberance on social media about everything is endlessly endearing. I felt for him when he publicly announced losing his wife on socials and his enduring love for her was palpable #couplegoals. I was therefore quite interested in reading this memoir. Alex Dunkerley, the lung coordinator at Kingston Hospital, calls to say that the X-ray has revealed a “small abnormal knot in the right lung, which is likely to be residual scar tissue from when Joan had pneumonia a couple of years ago. I’d like to book her in for a CT scan this evening.” Blushed and offered up the tulips, which thankfully turned out to be more than acceptable. Fired off lots of questions which she answered unreservedly and, in turn, asked me as many, mirroring my curiosity, which culminated in her casually asking, “Are you in a relationship?” while taking a casserole out of the oven. Richard's detailed diary entries enlist us all on a private journey through his loving relationship with wife Joan, the turbulent road of medical treatments, hospice, death and funeral, ending with tributes from her colleagues in the entertainment industry who thought the world of her. There's even a visit from the then Prince of Wales Charles in Joan's final days. This was a lovely memoir which I highly recommend.

His therapist notes that Richard is suffering "withdrawal symptoms from Joan as she gets more ill." As she slowly spends her days and nights mostly asleep, Richard is confronted with the feeling of loneliness: "all I can hear is the sound of my own footsteps."An innately positive and hopeful person, Richard knows that "living in the moment, for the moment, is the most positive way forward," but continues to struggle with the immensity of Joan's illness. Grant says one of the most memorable things about his late wife was how she looked out for her family into her final days. Maybe: ‘Oh, I’m sure she’s got over that, but you are a complete idiot and you should have your tongue clamped and tied.’ ‘Yes, yes, you’re right.’ Not having those conversations any more. That’s what I miss.” Richard E. Grant’s heartbreaking memoir recalls a long, happy marriage – and leaves us shattered for his loss.”

An emotional rollercoaster - profoundly moving and wonderfully entertaining. A brilliant memoir about living, loving and losing' Bernardine Evaristo She never tired of teasing me about my adolescent-adult obsession with “Babs,” and it’s a true measure of how secure our love is for each other that she wasn’t threatened by my fantasy idolatry, even after I’d commissioned a two-foot-tall sculpture of Streisand’s face for the garden. He generously agreed, and I called the stentorian-voiced Equity Bunty, who barked, “ What letter, then?”

She worked with absolutely everybody, from Robert Redford, Meryl Streep, Barbra Streisand, up, down and sideways. There's very few people on the A-list that haven't come to her for help at some time." She was 'a lioness' when it came to her family A gorgeously candid account of acting and show business. And an intimate and heartfelt story of love, loss and a life spent together. It is an honour to be invited in on these diaries. I cannot remember being so moved by a book.” KELLY: A lot of those people dropping flowers and gifts and notes and calling you are marquee names. Nigella Lawson, the cookbook writer, was sending you cakes and soup. And Gabriel Byrne, the actor, was coming by to keep you company. And the Prince of Wales, now King Charles, brought you mangoes from his garden. I was reading and thinking, would I want a parade of celebs stopping by when I was at my absolute lowest? But it sounds like it gave you and Joan life. He details with evocative precision what it was like to care for Washington during her illness. Anyone who has ever looked after a terminally ill person will know exactly what he means when he describes her “lemony irritability” on a bad day, and I especially liked his description of Washington’s moods vacillating “like the cast of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, between Dopey, Grumpy, Sleepy, Happy, Bashful and visiting the Doc”. I’m conscious of trying to follow her mantra and it has been incredibly helpful even though there are days you are tsunamied by grief. I just sold our summer home in France that we had for 35 years and it feels like a second bereavement.His decision to form the book’s narrative jointly out of the most enchanting highs (the Oscars, karaoke with Olivia Colman in a house formerly owned by Bette Davis) and the bleakest lows (Joan’s diagnosis, her fury when Grant inadvertently used the word terminal one day to describe her illness) came, he said, out of his desire to accurately capture what most people’s lives are like… [Richard and Joan’s] relationship is the fascinating central pillar of the book.” Grant hadn’t been aware that his wife had taken part in Scarborough’s project. But this in itself was very Washington. It wasn’t that she kept information from him; rather that she dispensed it on a need-to-know basis. This meant that throughout their long relationship, she still retained the capacity to surprise him, casually dropping into a conversation a previously unbroached event from her life, or the name of someone she’d once slept with. When I finally got a movie, Withnail and I in 1986, and had enough money to ask if she would marry me, some of her friends said to her, 'You should never marry this guy, because he's probably a gold digger who probably has no prospects,' or whatever. She only told me this subsequently. But she's never spoken to those people ever again." Joan had been in Tahiti coaching Mel Gibson on The Bounty. We hadn’t even moved in together yet, and my career prospects were provincial to put it politely, compared to the stellar company she was keeping. But she never allowed that to come between us, even though I felt it keenly.

A gorgeously candid account of acting and show business. And an intimate and heartfelt story of love, loss and a life spent together. It is an honour to be invited in on these diaries. I cannot remember being so moved by a book' Dolly Alderton Home. Oilly is upbeat and excited about Christmas, totally unaware of the seriousness of our situation. Yet. Which is how Joan is determined to maintain things. So much so that when we leave for our 2 p.m. appointment, she says, “I’m sure it’s going to be all right, Mum.”We see these differences play out throughout their lives together, but perhaps most tellingly when Joan is first diagnosed. While Richard is resolved to share the news of her illness with friends and family, Joan is fiercely against it, protesting: "But it won't cure me!" But slowly, he uses Joan's challenge as a guide through the grief and to navigate through the world without her. GRANT: When those people cross over from being people that you know as marquee names, as you put it, to being your personal friends, then they just happen to be the people that are turning up. And in the final count, when it comes down to it, you find out who of those marquee name friends are your real friends or not. And 99% of people came through beyond all measure with their compassion and kindness. And it really helped us, my daughter and I, and certainly Joan enormously. And she was - she felt so revived by that. And I'm indebted to those people for their generosity and kindness because they all had to travel a distance to get to where we were living, that cottage in the countryside. Martin Amis once wrote that the very act of writing is an act of love, and that’s what I feel writing about Joan. The best responses I’ve had to the book so far are people saying they feel like they got to know who Joan is – was,” he corrects himself.